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My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant, that I now clean the toilet when I have a pee!

Baz.

I was knocked down by a 1970 Ford GLX the other day.The Doctor said I had been hit by the Cortinavirus.He said it could have been worse though,If Michael Bublé had been driving it I could have contracted Croonervirus.
Cheers Phil.

chaddman wrote:I was knocked down by a 1970 Ford GLX the other day.The Doctor said I had been hit by the Cortinavirus.He said it could have been worse though,If Michael Bublé had been driving it I could have contracted Croonervirus.
Cheers Phil.

Love it Phil....brilliant!

It's a bit like the chap who went round all the auctions buying lots of cars......he was diagnosed with 'Car Owner' Virus!

Baz.

Soon there will be no-one to do the inquests, when all the coroners get ill with coronervirus.

A new unit of measurement for 'physical distance' has appeared in the last few weeks - the Pym (Hugh Pym, the BBC's Health Editor is 2 metres tall)

You think you've got problems, I can't watch any James Bond films since I caught he Conneryvirus.

Derby County`s Captain has had to self isolate after he caught Coleenrooneyvirus of his Missus.
Phil.

Trying to get in and out of the bath when you are older, brings a whole new meaning to the word 'legover'!

People must not cough near you. They must cough far away
If they dont adhere to this rule you must tell them to Farcough!!!
Mike

I hear a member of MI 5 has been diagnosed with Covert 19

Has anyone had a phone call from a solicitor asking if they have been miss sold PPE?